Monday, August 15, 2005

Things Going Through My Head As I Cheerfully Serge the Right Front to the Left Back, Wrong Sides Together

The guinea pig should be thanking me, not bolting for cover when he hears me come up the stairs. How else would he have been motivated enough to learn how to sign "I am not thirsty. Seek professional help."????

TechnoSchnozz snores far too much.

Why can't they invent a cell phone that will stop beeping when I holler "I know Ronni tried to call, but thanks for letting me know" at it from across the room?

Why are there so many tree names in the book I haven't started writing yet? Why is one forest benign and the other sinister? Why does Rowan choose to leave? Why doesn't Ash? Who gives a rat's patootie?

Back to the pants. oh and a wee tip:

don't take the lid off the bottle of Fray Chek with your teeth, dab the noxious substance on the garment, and then put the bottle back on the lid, lest you miss the lid altogether and snort Fray Chek up your nose, because this? WILL hurt.

5 comments:

Kassi said...

Inquiring minds have to know .... Fray Chek ?

darien said...

okay, I shouldn't be laughing....but I am. I KNEW there were good, sound reasons that I cannot sew. Now I KNOW there are more good sound reasons why I don't want to!

ccap said...

Why can't they invent a cell phone that will stop beeping when I holler "I know Ronni tried to call, but thanks for letting me know" at it from across the room?

I feel the same way about my timer. I KNOW the cake is done, I heard you but I'm busy at the moment, just SHUT UP.

Kassi said...

ccap ... oooooohh I hate that ... my breadmaker AND my microwave do that !!!

Takes away all the feelings of goodness and righteousness at having baked / cooked when one is castigated by the kitchen appliances ...

Mongooser said...

When I was in the Royal Australian Air Force I knew it was time to go to bed when I started ironing left front of jungle green pants to left REAR of leg cuff. I turned up for parade like it once.
once

Never did that again. N even now when i cock something up i hear 'I love my darling rifle' n '20 laps of 'A' parade ground airman Hazell!!!!! GET THAT BLUDDY RIFLE UP YOU DROP IT I'LL BLUDDY DROP YOU YOU @#$%$#^%&*(&%$^$%^%^$%^ ' etc etc.

commiserations