I just found this note buried under the hay. I think he's waiting for a chance to throw it in the toilet, in hopes that it will reach the sea:
"The woman in this house has lost her mind. She's convinced I can't find my new water bottle, even though the daft cow hung it exactly where the old one was, so now she comes up the stairs twice a day, holds me squirming against the water bottle and squeezes on the water bottle. GET ME OUT OF HERE."
it's signed "Snowflake the Beleaguered"
He doesn't have to worry, however. I just heard him drinking from his new water bottle. My diligence has paid off.